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The Unpleasantness of Grief and the Holidays 

Dec 2, 2025

People can experience grief for many different reasons, whether it’s the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a pet, or even losing a job. The reasons are endless, and everyone experiences grief differently. 

We have all encountered grief at some point in our lives. Sometimes we move through it quickly, and other times it lingers and takes its time. We all process grief in our own ways, and no one can tell you that you are doing it wrong. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no set timeline. You need to do what feels best for you. 

With the holidays fast approaching, this time of year can intensify feelings of grief and bring added sadness or a deep sense of loss. As lights go up, plans are made, and gifts are bought, many people feel the joy the season brings — but others may feel the heaviness that comes along with it. For some, this season can be a painful reminder of who isn’t here, leading to sorrow, loneliness, and emotional exhaustion. Those memories of happier times can make everyday life feel harder to navigate. Constant reminders all around us can make people want to isolate, lose motivation, or feel hopeless. 

Whether you’re newly grieving or you’ve been carrying your loss for a long time, I’ve put together a few tips that may help make this time of year feel a little more manageable. 

Be kind to yourself. 
The holidays are challenging enough when you’re grieving, so give yourself compassion. You’re navigating a difficult season the best you can, and that’s enough. Take a moment to pause, breathe, and recognize how far you’ve already come. It hasn’t been easy, but you’re still here, still moving forward. Give yourself the grace, space, and time you need. 

Start a new tradition. 
There’s no rule saying you have to celebrate the way you always have. New traditions can be comforting, exciting, or simply a fresh way to engage with the holidays again. If starting something new makes you feel guilty, like you’re leaving someone behind, try incorporating a small piece of your old tradition. It can be a gentle reminder that your loved one is still part of your life as you create new memories. 

Remember that it’s okay to say no. 
If you’re not in the mood to celebrate, it’s perfectly okay to decline invitations or scale things back. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and you don’t owe anyone a performance of holiday cheer. Let your friends and family know what you need, they’ll understand. Putting your needs first isn’t selfish; it’s part of taking care of yourself on this journey. 

And as always, reach out if you’re struggling. 
If things aren’t getting easier or you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to ask for support. Reaching out is a strength, and often the first step toward feeling more grounded again. You can always connect with us at CMHA South Cariboo at 250-395-4883 for resources and support. There are also many online support groups, including ones specifically for people who are grieving, and even for those supporting someone who is grieving. Talking with people who understand what you’re going through can offer comfort and helpful ideas. 

The holidays can be incredibly tough when you’re missing someone, but please remember you are not alone. There are people who care, who want to help, and who will walk with you through this season. Healing takes time, but you are strong, brave, and courageous, even on the days it doesn’t feel like it.  

Remember to be kind to yourself, practice self-care, and reach out for help if you need it. 

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